


i will wait for you

by rose1994



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Death, M/M, so this is my first larry fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:06:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose1994/pseuds/rose1994
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry can't sleep at night so he runs instead.  (not edited)</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will wait for you

It was three in the morning and Harry’s body still wouldn’t stop twitching and his mind wouldn’t shut up. Although his lids felt heavy and his muscles were tired from the lack of sleep, his entire being wouldn’t let him rest. Energy flowed through him like an endless electric current. He wanted to scream.

The house was quiet and his room was cool. There was no reason why he couldn’t rest in his environment. His homework was completed, dishes were washed, his job at the bakery paid him enough to have a steady cash flow and a fair amount of savings. There was no reason for him to be awake and full of life. Harry hadn’t slept more than four hours in one night in more than three weeks. 

He felt like there was always some force that tried to make his life fall apart, even when everything seemed perfect there always had to be something. But he felt alone mostly.  
Over the past few weeks of hardly sleeping has given him the opportunity to fully analyze his life and emotions; he has come to the realization that he felt no deep connection with someone. He obviously loved his family but that’s not the same as creating a bond deeper than blood.  
He checked his phone again; it was now three forty three. He had to wake up at six thirty to get ready for school and catch the bus. He was in his final year of school and it was almost mid term. His body twitched and shuddered at the thought of the amount of tedious exams and lengthy essays he would have to inevitably write.  
Before suddenly passing out, Harry let out a loud scream. 

-

 

Getting through his day was harder since he cut out coffee in attempt to sleep more; it hasn’t worked. It felt like his body was on fire and his mind wouldn’t stop making noises throughout school. He couldn’t concentrate or sit still. 

At dinner he mentioned how he still wasn’t sleeping very well. Harry downplayed how bad his sleeping schedule really was because he didn’t want his mum to worry about him. 

“Maybe you aren’t moving enough so your body has all of this extra energy,” his mum said and raised an eyebrow, “you aren’t doing any sports and you’re not taking a physical education course this semester, maybe you just need an outlet.”

Harry doubted it.

He continued with his usual nightly routine; cleaned the kitchen, complete his homework and moisturize. 

He checked his phone, it was now nine twelve. He decided to reorganize his room, might as well take advantage of the extra time he was being given. 

He cleared his desk, sweeped under his bed and started to organize the closet. He got to the very back and noticed his old runners. They reminded him of when he was in track at the beginning of high school, he joined because all of his friends were in it. He was horrible at it and inevitably quit because he kept on tripping over his own feet. 

It had been years since he had since gone out for a run, he never wanted to. Yet now he was curious; could he run better now? It was still early in the night and no one would see him. Maybe it would help him sleep. 

He put on a pair of joggers and an old shirt. His runners still fit, thank god. The house was quiet and his parents were in their room. He left his phone in his room and closed the front door. He ran. 

At first he did a slow jog, unsure of what pace his body was capable of. The cold air filled his lungs but his legs kept on pushing him forward. After a few minutes, his mind was completely clear and his muscles weren’t tired. He crossed the busier road and into a small park with a pathway perfect for running, especially at night due to the lamp post every thirty or so metres. 

He picked up the pace, pushing himself to go as fast as possible. He felt invincible in a way, the darkness only adding to his alertness and adrenaline. He didn’t trip, his muscles moved accordingly and smoothly. 

He then noticed another runner ahead of him; it was a petite body but it was obviously quick and strong. It looked as if they heard him and glanced behind them to see the other night runner, but they quickly looked away to keep up their speed. Their hair was short and their skin glowed in the dim street light. Harry was intrigued and tried to run faster, but the runner was already out of sight by the time he reached the end of the pathway. 

After taking a hot shower, Harry fell asleep at midnight. It was the first time he got over four hours of sleep. 

-

The next night he was tying his laces outside when he saw the petite runner again. They ran passed his house extremely quickly and didn’t notice the other night runner outside his house. Harry got a proper look this time; the other runner was in fact a young man with sharp cheekbones and eyes full of concentration and precision. 

Harry jolted up immediately, electricity bouncing through his veins and started to run behind the boy, determined to interact or know more about him in some way. He didn’t know why he felt this way, he wasn’t often this curious about strangers, it was just an impulse. 

Yet the man was a faster and better runner, by the time Harry crossed the busy road the man had already disappeared behind the trees. 

Harry kept sprinting until he finished his loop and was back home. Before falling asleep, he vowed to himself that he would run every night and get better at his new hobby. 

The electric current calmed down to a silent buzz humming through his nerves. He was asleep by twelve forty two. 

-

 

Over the next couple of weeks, Harry continued to run every night and eventually his mind allowed him to rest more than six hours a night. With his new found energy, he was able to run faster and get better with every run. But he wasn’t quite as fast as the other man yet. But almost. 

Every night, he either saw him at the beginning of his run flash by him or at the end of his run speeding past him. The man still looked as untouchable and powerful as the first time he saw him; sharp bone structure and strong legs pushed and cut through the cold fall wind. However on this cold October night, Harry was prepared and ready. A new energy surged through his veins as he tied his laces. His stomach was full but light from his green protein smoothie he had and three coffees. He walked out of his driveway and saw the man running by, on his way to cross the busy road and onto their usual route. 

Harry took the opportunity. 

Harry ran up beside him. 

At first, the man turned to look at him, a little surprised that he was actually able to keep up at his pace beside him. He had dark blue eyes and lips that quickly turned into an amused smirk. After they crossed the busy road, the man turned his head to Harry again and said effortlessly, “I was wondering when you would finally keep up.”

Harry gawked and said rather breathlessly, “is that a challenge?”

The man winked and suddenly ran ahead, “catch me if you can!” Harry immediately tried to quicken his pace and managed to keep up. 

They raced through the route and by the time they reached the end, the man was ahead of Harry by about fifteen metres.  
Once Harry was beside him, the man was stretching his petite limbs elegantly. “You’re getting better tall mysterious boy who is usually super slow and runs suspiciously at the same time as me every night,” the man said. He touches his toes and his butt is sticking out in the air. Harry swallowed his built up spit and licked his lips before answering.

“My name is Harry Styles,” he tried to stick out his hand to shake but he couldn’t be bothered to raise his arm. He felt dead. 

“Louis Tomlinson, pleased to meet you Harry,” he man laughed a bit to himself before abruptly standing up straight and running his hand over his sweaty forehead. 

“Listen, I’ve gotta go but maybe I will see you tomorrow,” the man's eyes were glowing and his cheeks had a natural blush. Probably caused from the run. Probably.

Harry felt himself blush. He didn’t know why, boys don’t usually make him blush.

“Yeah sure, you know you’ll see me, with the suspicious timing and all,” he feels as if his lungs might collapse. The man might see him depending on if he dies or not. 

Louis simply nodded and started running again the other direction to only god knows where. How was he running again? His energy seemed endless. 

Harry fell asleep by eleven thirty two that night and dreamed of Louis and his elegant stretching and powerful thighs. 

-

They continue racing each other every night, at the end they make small conversation and Louis leaves too soon and Harry dreams of running soon after. Harry still can barely keep up but he slowly starts to speed up. Louis helps him and gives him tips on his form and the best running shoes to have. 

Harry fell asleep quickly at night, eager to wake up the next morning so that he can see Louis again soon. He doesn’t even know if he and Louis are friends or not. 

Louis either doesn’t go to school or he doesn’t go to the same school as Harry, this much he knows about him. That and he has some sort of important responsibility at home that he was always so eager to get back to. Harry wished that he knew more about the blue eyed runner. 

One night, it seemed that either Louis had slowed down or maybe, maybe Harry had gotten better and was speeding up. His electric current was shooting through his bloodstream.

Towards the end of their route, it seemed as if Harry might win. He looked over to see the other boys reaction; he was biting his cheek. Instead of stopping where they usually did, Louis kept on running past him. 

“Hey!” harry yelled and sprinted towards the other night runner. He went down an unknown path onto an open field, the lights were still on and the grass was a bright green. 

Harry sprinted faster but Louis slowed down and he suddenly ran into the other boy. They both fell onto the field, Harry landing on top of him. 

“Ow! Watch where you’re going you tosser!” Louis laughs and turns his body. Harry quickly adjusts his body so that he was straddling the other boys small waist and he held onto his wrists above his head.

“Why did you run past me?” Harry heaved, “I was going to win!”

Louis scoffed, “as if I would ever let that happen, I was giving you more of a challenge!” Harry eyed the sweaty man beneath him, the determination in his eyes still not burning out. 

“You are a challenge, aren’t you,” he breathed out. A blush started to form onto the other man's face and Harry couldn’t help but grin.

“Louis, will you be my official running buddy? I don’t think I could ever do these wonderful and tedious runs without you.” Harry surprised himself when he said that.

“Scared of the dark, Styles,” Louis raised his eyebrows. 

“Petrified, stupefied, terrified!” Harry raised his hands in the air dramatically, letting go of Louis hands, “will you be my light?”  
Louis rolled his eyes dramatically and leaned up, his hands balancing his torso behind him. Harry was still straddling him but felt like he was sitting in the other man’s lap. He was tempted to wiggle a little. 

“Stop flirting with me,” Louis smiled softly at him. His entire face glowed under the field's lights. He pushed Harry off up him and stood up. “See you tomorrow night Styles, nine o’clock sharp!” He immediately ran off the field after that, disappearing into another unknown trail.

Harry was breathless. He didn’t even have enough energy to look at the clock before he fell asleep that night. He couldn’t wait to wake up to see Louis again.

 

-

 

After that night, every night and day is better. His constant electricity never lets his smile die or falter, his heart never stops racing and his legs never stop running. 

Louis eventually agrees to give his number to Harry, incase he has to cancel a run. He never does. 

Every day Harry wakes up and goes to school, then work sometimes and then homework. He was ahead in his classes and he got a raise from work. It felt like life was a race that never ends and twists and turns and then abruptly ends but starts again. 

Every day is a race that ends at nine pm and then starts again when he runs with the blue eyed night runner. Everything seemed to end and begin with Louis; insomnia, connection and sleepfull nights. 

Harry undoubtedly felt a certain connection with Louis; their regular night chats got more complex and interesting. Louis was the oldest in his family and he had four younger sisters. He graduated from school the year before and he was kept back a year because he had a late birthday. He decided to stay at home to help his mom out because his step dad left them. Harry could tell Louis was strong, it showed through his running. 

Louis was kind though; although initially he was rather aloof and off putting, he quickly blossomed into a soft caring boy. Harry was proud that he got past the hyper tough guy act and got to know the true Louis Tomlinson. 

Louis made him laugh. After their runs, he would stretch in such a suggestive and flamboyant way that Harry couldn’t help but snort. When Harry was slower or couldn’t keep up, he always slowed down to encourage him. Harry thought that Louis may be the most important person in his life, even if he was only a part of it in a small way. 

He wanted more. He wanted Louis is be in his life in more ways than just at nine at night, he wanted to be around Louis all the time every day. 

He wanted Louis running beside him during life’s everyday race of starting the day and ending it. 

Before he fell asleep at night, he looked at the clock and counted the seconds until he could see Louis again. He waited every night and every day for him. 

-

 

It was December and they finished a long run together at the same time. Harry gave Louis a full dimpled grin and the other man returned it before he started stretching. He made a loud moaning noise and Harry laughed alone in the cold night. He joined his strange stretching antics, his thoughts racing like the electric current banging in his lungs.

“Why did you start running, Louis?” he asked suddenly. He didn’t know where the thought came from but his curiosity about Louis was constantly throwing random questions that need immediate answers.

“To escape,” Louis answered simply, now he was stretching his left leg. 

“To escape what?” 

“My family, my responsibilities, my problems,” Louis bit the inside of his cheek.

“What problems?” Harry furrowed his brow out of worry.

“Criticism mostly, about,” he stopped suddenly, seeming unsure if he should go on. He nods to himself and continues, “regarding my sexuality mostly actually. And if that’s going to be a problem then he don’t have to run together anymore.” 

Harry was shocked. He never actually thought of Louis as a queer person but neither had he ever imagined him as a heterosexual person. Louis never did mention dating or girls, but Harry figured that maybe Louis didn’t want to talk about it with him. Electricity shot up from the bottom of his toes and straight into his heart that then carried into his cheeks. His heart was beating faster than Louis could run and his cheeks burned more calories than he did on a half marathon. Louis being not straight wasn’t a problem. Of course it wasn’t a problem. It may of been a solution if anything. 

“ Of course that’s not a problem! It would never be a problem. It’s the twenty first century for goodness sake. Like whomever you feel like liking!” Harry stammered. He wasn’t stretching anymore, just staring at the beautiful boy in front of him.

Louis was beautiful because he was strong and confident and kind and funny and oh god what if Harry had a chance. Harry had to stop these thoughts because dear lord was he gay? He doesn’t know. But looking now at the beautiful blue eyed man under the dim lamp post outside of the park, it doesn’t matter. None of it or anything mattered. 

Louis smiled softly at Harry, fond pouring out of his mouth when he said, “thank you Harry. That means more than you know to me, that. You’re so special to me and I never want to lose you.” Harry beamed. Even though it was night he was sure that he smiled bright enough to make it daylight. 

“Enough about me, why did you start running?” Louis said, standing still and watching Harry.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Harry started, “I had too much energy and I just needed an outlet I guess.” 

Louis smiled again, “I’m glad you found an outlet.” 

They stared at each other for a moment that Harry felt lasted a small infinity. Louis’ brown hair had fallen a bit into his face, his scruff on his chin was growing into a bit of a beard and his cheeks were rosy. Electricity pulsed around them and Harry couldn’t believe that he was actually lucky enough to experience such a magnetic and mesmerizing man. Louis eyes crinkled then and Harry thought oh and his heart demanded, i want more. 

“I’ve got to dash, check up on the girls and that. See you tomorrow night, Harry,” and he disappeared again but he still remained in the little nook inside of Harry’s heart that was quickly expanding.

He fell asleep at ten forty two. 

-

 

After that night, Harry ran a bit faster than the other night runner. Louis blamed it on the fact that Harry was growing taller. Harry patted the top of Louis head and called him a petite cutie. 

Towards the end of a run one night, Louis is nearly twenty metres behind Harry. Harry’s legs wouldn’t stop, he eagerly ran through the park, the familiar trail beneath his seemingly tireless feet. 

The smaller man behind him suddenly shouted into the night, “wait for me!”  
Harry’s heart broke and fluttered at the same time; “I always do Louis.”

At the end, Harry hugged Louis without explanation. Both boys held their breath out of shock and their electric waves passed through each other. Harry could feel Louis heart beat wildly against his. 

That night, Harry decided before looking at the clock that he was done waiting for Louis. He was ready for more. 

\- 

The next night after their run, Harry didn’t bother stretching. Louis immediately noticed.

“Why aren’t you stretching? You know how bad that is for your muscles, tomorrow you will definitely be sore unless you-”  
Harry cut him off mid sentence. 

“Go out with me sometime,” Harry asked, slightly hesitant.

Louis laughs, “what do you mean? we go out every night!”

Harry furrowed his brow, “not like that, or this whatever. I mean on a proper date, night out. It would be a nice rest day for us,” he argues. 

This time, Louis raised his brow, “I thought you were straight?” confusion clear in his voice. 

“I think I am, or I thought I was but I really like you and I don’t usually like boys or anyone like how I like you, so I figured, don’t knock it till you tried it you know?” Harry rambled.

Louis sighed and said gently, “you don’t have to feel obliged to ask me out because I’m clearly not straight, we can just be friends. I don’t expect anything from you Harry, I just want you to be comfortable and happy.”

Harry cleared his throat and looked at his feet before speaking. His running shoes were covered in dirt. He needed some new ones.

“Yeah but maybe I want to take you out not because you’re queer but maybe I want to take you out because maybe I am,” he isn’t sure what he is saying anymore and maybe it doesn’t matter what he says anymore either. Maybe Louis will turn him down no matter what he says. 

He has to try. 

Then, Louis starts to smile wide until it nearly takes over his entire face. His eyes are dancing a bit and his hands start to shake a bit. 

“Maybe, you night running boy,” he didn’t stop smiling. 

“Maybe?” Harry questions. 

“Maybe after you complete your first full marathon. Maybe after you finish stretching. We will see you dimply moon boy. We have all the time in the world.” Louis is teasing now. Harry considered his answer as a yes. He feels as if he could run to the other side of the world and back. He feels light and ethereal. 

That night, Harry texts Louis a simple, goodnight, i can’t wait to see you tomorrow ma petite cherie. H x. 

He falls asleep at eleven eleven. He wished for an endless supply of running shoes so that maybe, he could run with Louis forever. 

-

Harry ran his first full marathon ten days before christmas with Louis. It was the christmas marathon for charity and it was the first time Harry had ever been with Louis during the day.

He was even more energetic and bright during the day, if possible. Louis Tomlinson was a real life human sun and everyone treated him as if sunshine came out of his ass. Maybe it did. 

Harry and Louis ran at the same consistency during the race; they started together and they ended together. Louis screamed and bounced when they both received bronze medals, smiling so big that Harry could count all of his teeth. He kissed Louis’ forehead and the crinkles by his eyes instead. 

Afterwards, Louis demanded that they went out for pancakes together. Harry drove them to a busy iHop despite his prejudice against the restaurant. I make delicious pancakes at home he explained multiple times, come over and I will cook for you. Louis rolled his eyes and insisted; apparently the pancake house was like a second home to him. 

Harry got the banana pancakes with extra whip cream and Louis got the double chocolate chip pancakes with double extra whip cream. He made endless jokes and chatted up the waitresses easily. Harry felt so in love. 

Towards the end, Harry raised an eyebrow and said, “so does this count as a date? I thought I asked you out!” The night runner blushed deeply, unable to hide his embarrassment in the daylight. 

“Maybe. I don’t know. Does this mean I have to pay?” he raised his eyebrows cheekily and rubbed Harry’s foot with his own under the table. 

“Ugh, fine. I will pay for your damn pancakes,” Harry groaned and rolled his eyes dramatically, “for the price of nothing I suppose. Is this heart break? Is this the end? Am I being taken advantage of for a run of my money?”

Louis rolled his eyes this time and snorts, “maybe there won’t be a second date Mr. Styles.”

Harry smiled at that. He paid the waitress soon after and left a big tip. Louis held his hand as they left and kissed his cheek. His lips shocked his skin, new electricity thrumming through his body.

“So tomorrow,” Louis began in the car, “at nine o’clock sharp, we are going out for a run. No sooner no later mister.” 

Harry dropped him off in front of his house. It was small and quaint and homely. He hoped that someday he will make it through the front door. But dropping Louis off in front of his driveway after a date in the afternoon was enough for now. 

Someday maybe they would do everything and anything together. With Louis he had a deep connection that would take forever to fully understand but he was willing to be with him forever. He wanted it all with Louis, even if he was just young. He wanted more. 

Harry was always ready for more. But Harry was always willing to wait. He would wait forever for Louis. 

The clock read eight fifty two before he closed his eyes. 

-

It was five days before christmas, when after a run Louis told Harry that it was his birthday in four days. Harry felt unprepared and excited. 

“Let me take you out properly for our second date on your birthday,” Harry nearly demands, “proper wine and dine and suits and flowers. Chocolates too. The works.”

Louis smiled widely, the his laugh lines showing. “I would like that very much.”

Harry’s electricity hummed in his chest. Content maybe.

“Tomorrow however, I might be a bit late,” Louis said, his mouth frowning a bit, “I won’t have my phone on me because I don’t like to carry it on me while I run but I might have to walk one of my sisters to their friends house first. It’s just along the way. But wait for me in front of the park, yeah?” 

“Of course I will wait for you, Louis Tomlinson also known as the best brother in the world who will do anything for his sister's,” Harry said fondly. Louis was too good. 

“Oh shut up won’t you,” Louis rolled his eyes but softly smiled again. 

He walked towards Harry and cupped his cheek. His hands were warm against Harry’s cold skin. His eyes were glowing in the dim streetlight and Harry couldn’t help but admire the fact that they resembled sapphires. Or maybe the ocean. Or the sky. Louis eyes were more lovely than all of those things though. Louis was more lovely than all things. 

“You are so lovely,” slipped out of Harry’s mouth before he could stop himself, not that he really wanted to stop him or that he had any self restraint in the first place. 

Louis said nothing and pulled Harry’s face close to his. Harry leaned his forehead against Louis and the electricity inside of him finally came to a complete stop. Calm. 

He felt Louis’ rougher lips on his but they were gentle and his kiss was sweet. Harry felt dizzy and lost and he had to remind himself to breathe to move to anything. More more moremoremore his heart screamed, it felt as if it was too big for his body. 

He moved his lips against the other night runner and Louis held his hand up to his chest. Harry felt so calm and serene. He felt so happy and he felt relief, like he wasn’t waiting anymore. It had all finally begun, everything he had ever wanted was finally beginning. He wasn’t chasing an impossible dream anymore, he wasn’t running from or towards anything. He was at the finish line.  
Louis pulled back and held onto him for a little while longer. Harry made a noise in protest but Louis laughed. “We have all the time in the world to do this more, Harry. Maybe we can make a routine of this after our runs. Might be an important ritual to do after stretching.” Louis winked at him. Harry blushed but kissed him again.

“Remember, tomorrow. Wait for me.” 

“I will wait for you.”

 

Harry fell asleep at ten forty three that night. The electricity inside of him dimmed to a low gentle hum inside the small nook of his heart. Everywhere else in his body had the calm of Louis overtaking him, lulling him into an easy sleep. Everywhere was full of love. 

-

The next night, Harry ran down his road alone and crossed the busy street alone. He ran a bit farther until he was in front of their usual meeting spot in front of the park. He jogged in place and waited.

The stars seemed brighter than usual, but Harry was seeing everything brighter than usual lately. His mom joked that he must be in love. Maybe he was. 

He counted as many of them as he could see. He wore his earphones, the voice of twin shadow sang “Forget” gently in his ears. Then a young the giant song played. Then a citizen. Then a hozier. Finally the strums of bon iver’s “beach baby” placed and he began to wonder.

Harry had been waiting for quite some time. He looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star; he closed his eyes and wished to see his Louis. He then turned around and pulled out his earphones, expecting to see the night runner immediately, perhaps his wish had been granted. 

He heard sirens. Then he saw blue and red and car beams from the busy road. He stared at the commotion for a moment and then began to walk slowly towards the scene. Trees slowly got out of his view, Harry hadn’t ever moved this slow on their route before. He heard Louis insistent encouragements to just run and his feet started to move. He ran. 

His body was limp on the ground in the middle of the road. At first, Harry wanted to stop pulling one of his silly pranks and to get out of the road. A nurse then ran out of the ambulance that was pulled over on the side of the road. A car was parked in front of Louis’ body, the window cracked, the doors open and the driver didn’t move from outside of his car. Maybe he was in shock, maybe he didn’t want to move. To make whatever happen real. 

A stretcher was the next thing to come out of the ambulance. Harry ran in front of the two paramedics and clutched onto Louis’ delicate body. It had already began to bruise. He held his hand up to his face. His hand was cold against Harry’s warm cheeks. There was no electric shock when they touched. Louis lids covered his eyes, his eyebrows were a bit furrowed as if he was in concentration and his mouth was open slightly. It was the same expression he often wore during their runs together. Precision and determination, a bit of adrenaline. 

There was so much blood suddenly. It covered Harry’s hands and Louis body but Harry wouldn’t let go. How could he let go. 

The medics tried to pry Harry off of him, to lift him on a stretcher. Harry’s cheeks were covered in his own tears and Louis’ blood and he didn’t even realize it. All he could concentrate on was Louis’ face, waiting for an exhale, inhale, the promise of more time. 

Louis’ body was being put into a the ambulance. The medics kept on pulling him away farther from the night runner. Harry kissed him gentle and sweet and kind and with care, to remind the lifeless body of the soul that inhabited it only minutes before. 

Harry didn’t sleep that night. How could he? He was waiting.

-

On the news the next day, there was a headlining story about a night runner who got hit by a car the night before. The driver didn’t see him. His death was immediate.

His mom frowned and told him to remember to wear reflective clothing when he runs at night. She wanted him to stay safe. 

Harry didn’t run that night. Energy flowed through him like an endless electric current. He wanted to scream. 

-

what now, his body cried at his brain. It begged for a new solution to the same old problem caused by his mind. It cried and wailed for days. 

i don’t know what else to do, his brain responded. His mind was tired but it kept racing, trying to still win a race his heart already lost. It wouldn’t let him sleep.

i want more i want more i want more, his heart insisted, as if unwilling to accept that now he had nothing. It weighed heavy in his chest. 

The electricity flowed and flooded his entity. 

Louis was gone.  
-

The worst part was that Harry never got to love Louis completely. He never got to know or understand him completely. He would never explore their connection, their love and life completely. Louis was so young, he still had so much to experience and learn. Harry will know more about life when he dies. Harry might tease him in heaven about that. Louis didn’t have enough time. They didn’t have enough time. 

 

-

Weeks later, he started running again. He went on a different route. He ran by Louis’ small house. His home. Sometimes Harry saw little blonde heads peek out of the windows, expecting the runner to be their brother. He would come home and open the door and hug them all and cover them with kisses. He would apologize for being gone for so long adn that they shouldn’t worry so much about him. He would talk about his new mate that he went running with every night. He would blush and deny coyly that his running partner wasn’t his boyfriend. His mother knew better. 

But then the little blonde heads would frown in disappointment and confusion when Harry ran by. He didn’t stop at the house and kiss them better. He wasn’t their brother. 

One time, one of the blonde heads hesitantly raised a hand and gave him a small wave. Harry waved back and cried the rest of his run back home. Sometimes he forgets that although he lost his lover, they lost the sun of their universe. 

Everything was a little dimmer without him.

-

Months later, he stopped looking at the clock before he fell asleep. He consciously stopped counting the seconds and minutes. But his heart had become an internal clock, constantly ticking, waiting.

-

A long time later (he doesn’t like to think about the measurements of time much anymore, it was all just a lonely reminder) on a rainy day, he ran a different route. 

He didn’t stop until he was in front of the gate outside of the local cemetery. It opened easily, letting him through, as if it had been expecting him. Maybe it was. He was probably late. There was a new grave by a weeping willow tree. The stone wasn’t weathered and it had fresh flowers. Harry collapsed in front of it and cried for a while. Once he felt like he couldn’t cry anymore, he raised his eyes and smiled at Louis’ grave.

“You beat me here Louis, I guess I never really could keep up to you,” he joked. He hoped that Louis was laughing somewhere. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, you know how I need time for some things, that it takes me a while,” Harry put his hand on the gravestone, “I wish I could have given you more. I wish we had more.” 

His electricity poured out of his hands and into the ground. The clouds let out a gentle roar of thunder. 

“I will wait for you,” Harry promised. 

-

Harry grew very old. He lived to be ninety eight and his children joked that he lived so recklessly and wholly that his life time must count for two. He had seven grandchildren and a small cottage by the blue ocean. It reminded him of home. Every night after his daily walks by the beach, he sat in his rocking chair on his porch and watched the waves, pulling and pushing at the shoreline. The moon and stars greeted him and shined brightly, Harry wished on them over and over again. Every night and every day he waited until his last. Eventually, his eternal countdown ended and his heart stopped. The first thing he felt after his last breath was gentle lips giving him a sweet kiss.  
He felt nothing except calm.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading and i shall post more soon!! 
> 
> this story was inspired by unbelievers because louis went out for night runs all the time and that fic was wonderful!!! 
> 
> also make sure when u run at night that u wear reflective gear because it is so easy to get hit trust me it has almost happened to me before!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr @ rose1994.tumblr.com


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